This Peace Council discussed the importance of connection and community. All people long to belong. We need to create more forums for community, without a dominant leader. Listening, telling stories, and dialogue are useful tools, but self-righteousness hinders connection, as does gossip.

Learning about the different cultures in the U.S. and in the world is important. Cultural exchanges, travel, and the internet are good ways to accomplish this.

The group felt it is important to create reconciliation programs for our wounds and for what we've perpetrated on others.

Going beyond humiliation, we all share a potential for behaving badly and well. Judgment leads to humiliation. We must see others the same as ourselves and thereby avoid using energy being angry and externalizing or projecting blame. We can even have compassion for ourselves when we've 'messed up.' Transform a sense of guilt to responsibility, especially the guilt that 'I'm not doing enough.'

In terms of dealing with 'the other,' remember that the 'enemy' can teach you. Listen to opposition, don't criticize or demonize those who hold different views. Listen for values, to find the common humanity, to give dignity, and to understand the other's perspective. We can ask for input and negotiate rather than confront and fight. Say 'no' to the system, not to individuals. Remember that everyone has the same basic needs - therefore focus on creating opportunities to fulfill those needs. Seeing the 'opponent' as human doesn't get in the way of advocating for right action.

If seeing the military or illegal immigrants (or any particular group) as 'the other,' get rid of any sense of dominance and of using labels. Look deep into the eyes of the 'other' and recognize the human being like oneself. Be open to dialogue about different life experiences, without seeing those differences through the lens of fear or judgment. With the military in particular, it's important to use story and ritual for re-integration into civilian life, to thank them, and to offer healing for PTSD.

Resources from the Council include:

American Friends Service Committee - www.afsc.org Fellowship of Reconciliation - www.forusa.org

Institute on the Common Good - www.icgregis.org

National Coalition for Dialogue and Deliberation - www.thataway.org